Mint Simple Syrup

2 cups sugar 

2 cups water

1/2 cup mint leaves 

Add water and sugar to a saucepan and stir together.  Add mint leaves and. Heat to a low simmer or until sugar is dissolved.  Remove from heat and cool.  Strain out tea leaves and serve syrup wit tea, lemonade, or cocktails.  

Mom Strong

Lately I feel like I'm coming back to life after a long dark journey.  Let me explain.  When we received Lydia's diagnosis during my pregnancy, I didn't fall apart.  Earlier that year, I had lost Eleanor at 20 weeks gestation.  I had lived through the death of a child and made it through (that is a whole different kind of darkness for another post).  I knew if that was Lydia's outcome, I would make it though again.  I didn't fall apart, but I did shut down internally.  On the outside, everyone saw a fairly happy coping person.  I actually got complimented on how well I was handling things.  I inside, I had shut off.  I was able to put on a brave face because I had truly stopped myself from feeling.  I didn't even ask why me.  It didn't matter why.  When Lydia was born and I'm the PICU, I allowed myself to cry, but stayed shut down.  Through the NICU and coming home, I was happy of every achievement she made, but did not feel true joy.  Lately I have felt myself coming back to life.  I've found myself smiling and laughing and really meaning it. I feel joy again.  It's a little frightening to let this guard I have put up come down.  Little by little, I chip away at it.  I will continue to tear down this wall and I will not let it own me.  I am strong enough.  I am a mom.

Five ways to take five

Guys, I am loving being a stay at home mom.  But it is also harder than I ever dreamed.  I'm finding it increasingly important for me to take five minutes for myself everyday.  It's truly keeping me sane.  But...I am not someone who can try to plan out ways to take time for myself because if I try to plan it, it won't happen.  It has to be something that happens organically and I don't have to think about.  That being said, here are five ways I take five minutes for myself every day. 

1. Shave my legs.  Seems silly but to be   honest, most days I'm a Sasquatch because I don't have time shave.  I barely have time to shower (and sometimes don't even have time for that), so when j do shower, getting clean is priority, shaving not so much.  There's just something so satisfying about climbing into bed with shaved legs. It really feels like a luxury.  Because to a mom, it is. 

2. Five quiet minutes.  If I'm really, miraculously lucky, the kids nap together.  It's extremely rare and not often seen in the wild, so when this phenomenon occurs, I take advantage of it.  Usually I nap myself (because dude, I'm tired), but before I do I'll take five quiet minutes to myself.  No tv, no phone, just five minutes sitting and soaking in the quiet.  Ahhhh.

3. Get a Coke.  Sonic has happy hour from 2-4 and Jon gets off work and home shortly after three.  Some days I tell him the kids are all his for a bit and I run get a happy hour 1/2 price coke. It's nice to be able to listen to my own tunes and drive without the kiddos, plus it's a needed caffeine boost.

4.  Indulge in a guilty pleasures. Not the sneak some chocolate in the closet guilty pleasure because let's be real, there's no shame in that.  I'm talking good and juicy no one knows you do it guilty pleasure.  For me it's reality tv.  Keeping Up With the Kardashians, WAGS, or the like.  I feel silly watching it but I just can't stop.  I'll pretend to be trying to find Disney Junior and spend an extra five minutes watching E!. 

5.  Have an alcoholic beverage while cooking dinner.  Sometimes I make a really easy dinner that doesn't require much attention just so I can sit in the kitchen and "cook".  I pour a glass of wine or crack open an alcoholic root beer and kick back while dinner simmers for five minutes.  

See, it doesn't take a ton of planning to take five for yourself.  Just throw something natural to you into an activity you already do for yourself. It will keep you sane. Mostly. 

Mom Tired

Guys, I'm tired.  I'm so tired I've given my tired a new name.  Mom Tired.  It's the kind of tired you only hit when you've been up all night for a week in a row with a baby who won't sleep and then up all day that week with a toddler that won't nap.  Said toddler is also feeling needy and wants you to play with him every second of every day.  In fact the only time this toddler isn't asking you to play is when he is asking you for food (chicken nuggets for the record).  Let's not forget the little sleepless heathon who you are also providing food for, by pumping breastmilk and warming bottles...while the toddler is asking you to play or make the afore mentioned dreaded chicken nuggets.  Did I mention that's all he wants to eat?  Potty training is on the back burner at the moment (queue internal maniacal laughter at the very thought) so I'm also changing diapers for two and also giving a vain attempt at housework and getting dinner made for the entire family at night.  Yesterday I had a bowl of reheated peas for lunch.  Just peas.  And I ate them while I was pumping.  We go to the library once a week to replenish our movie and book supply and the toddler can play and I can feed the heathon uninterrupted (maybe) and get the toddler around another kid to play with.  Throw in the plethora of doctor appointments my little heathon requires (the only reason I ever actually get a shower because I can't go see another adult without making an attempt at basic hygiene) and I have officially reached mom tired status.  No amount of caffeine can save me.  The only cure is dreaming of a time when I will be able to pee alone and maybe even be able to eat a full meal all at once without having to retrieve a toy or paci or bottle or change a poop explosion diaper on the middle of eating my sad little bowl of peas.  I absolutely love being a stay at home mom though it's harder than I ever dreamed it would be.  This past week has been exhausting, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  My little monsters are my joys and every hard moment is accompanied by a sweet one.  I'm just tired so let me complain.  I'm typing this as my little cretins are sleeping at the same time for once and I am inexplicably wide awake.  I hear the heathon stirring and I'm hoping she isn't ripping out her feeding tube.  I'm off in search of caffeine, wish me luck. 

Pork Carnitas

I have a few pork roasts in the freezer and wanted to try a new way to use them.  I settled on pork carnitas because they can be made in the crockpot and most of the recipes are very similar so I figured they couldn't be too hard to make!  This was my first attempt and I kind of winged it with the ingredients based on what I had on hand.  Not bad if I do say so myself. 

5 lb pork roast (I used a shoulder toast)

3 tbsp cumin

1 tbsp oregano

2 tsp salt

2 tsp pepper

2 tbsp garlic powder

1/3 cup tang (just try it)

1 onion, sliced

2 cloves chopped garlic

Mix your dry ingredients and run all over pork.  Place in corckpot and top with onion slices and chopped garlic.  Pour tang over the top and cook on low 7 hours.  Shred pork and cook another hour.

Put pork I'm a frying pan with a drizzle of olive oil and cook until crispy edges form on pork.

I served my pork with lettuce, tomato, onion, cilantro and a dab of sour cream.  

Parasol Diaper Free Sample Unboxing

Honest Company Free Starter Kit Unboxing

The Good Life

It's Monday morning.  Jon has left for work and I've already been up to feed Lydia.  She is now laying next to me in bed, sleeping again.  Everyone else in the house is asleep.  A storm is rolling in and while the thunder crashes and the rain begins to fall in heavy swollen drops, I lay here and just listen to nature speak.  Josh is here this week and we have a full week of therapies, library hours, pool time, and chores ahead of us.  For now though, I will lie here quietly and let naive sing its summer storm song to me.  Life is too short to miss these moments and I'm so blessed to be able to enjoy them.  Staying home is not the easy choice for me.  Money is extraordinarily tight and to be honest, being a stay at home mom is both harder and more amazing than I thought it would be.  For every moment like this, there is an offsetting moment where josh is having a teenager moment, Linus is begging for attention, Lydia needs fed, and I have to get dinner ready and the living room cleaned.  I wouldn't change it though.  For all the hardships we are facing, I have my family by my side to overcome them. And that is what I call the good life. 

Summer Playlist

Summer music always seems to bring out my nastolgic side in full force.  Probably because there is always a summer anthem released and played all summer long so that you have no choice but to associate that song with summer memories.  But anywho, these are my summer jams for 2016, though most of them are pretty old.  

Haruyo Koi - Happy End

Summertime Sadness. - Lana Del Rey

8 Bit Baby

Hot In Herre - Nelly

Break Your Heart - Mandy Moore

Summertime - Janis Joplin

California Gurls - Katy Perry

Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes

I Get Around - The Beach Boys

Cruel Summer - Bananarama

Under the Boardwalk  - The Drifters

Fancy - Iggy Azalea

The Weekenders

This weekend was gorgeous and as we don't get a lot of non humid and hell on earth hot days in July, we spent a lot of the weekend outside.  We had a cookout, went on a picnic, played hide and seek in the dark, and chased lightening bugs.  It was just a really great low key weekend.  Hope yours was grand as well.  

Blackberry Crisp

3 cups blackberries

3 tbsp cornstarch

1/2 cup sugar

Mix and put into an 8x8 baking dish.

1 cup oats

1 cup brown sugar

1 cup flour

2/3 cup melted butter

1 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp vanilla

Mix and spread evenly over berries.  Tops with 1 tbsp sugar and 1 tbsp cinnamon mixed.  Bake at 375 for 30 minutes, or until topping is golden brown.

Blackberry Pie Filling

It's blackberry season and I'm taking full advantage of being home to try my hand at baking some things I've always wanted to try.  I made some blackberry pie filling, and then the pie.  It was so good, even if not the prettiest pie ever lol.  

Pie filling:
3 cups blackerries
1 cup sugar
juice of 1 lemon
3 tbsp cornstarch
2 tsp vanilla

Bake at 350 for 45 minutes to an hour.

Blackberry Simple Syrup

I love flavored iced teas and lemonades.   Maybe too much...  I started the search for a good berry syrup recipe so that I could make my own flavored iced tea at home and save some money.  This syrup hit the spot.  It's sweet, smooth, and easy to make.

3 cups blackberries

1 cup sugar

Place in saucepan on medium for 20-30 minutes, or until blackberries are soft.  Strain through cheesecloth or a fine mesh metal strainer.  Discard berries and keep the syrup. Serve with iced tea or lemonade.  

FYI, you can keep the berries to use for smoothies or pie filling!

A Day In Photos

Home.

Well we did it.  We brought our baby girl home.  Linus is totally in love with her.  He wants to be by her side at all times and make sure she's happy.  When she cries he coos "it's ok Lydia, it's no big deal." 😂😍  He tells her he loves her and is so excited that we are all home together.  From the mouths of babes.  Jon is more than a little smitten too.  Lydia is simply amazing and I'm so glad these two get to see her every day and experience her.  We traversed. the NICU and made it out on the other side.  I am so grateful to the nurses and doctors that cared for Lydia and made the last two months bareable. They are angels.  These next few months will be some of the hardest and busiest months we will face yet, but with each other, we will make it through.  My wonderful, crazy, beautiful family.  

Two Months Old. Aka this post was supposed to go up days ago but I forgot to publish it...

I'm Lydia Odette is two months old!  I can't believe it has already been two months.  Life flies in the NICU.  Lydia continues to make amazing progress and weighs 10 lb 13 oz and is 22 in long.  She is breathing entirely on her own and just needs to get oral feedings down.  

On an amazing note, we are slated to bring this little squish home...TOMORROW!!!!!!  I can't believe that we are coming back home at eight weeks old.  When I was pregnant, we were told we would be facing new a minimum stay of 4-6 months.  We are leaving after two.  This little girl is truly a warrior and has surpassed everyone's expectations.  I can't wait to get you home baby girl!  

Just another day

M