Mint Simple Syrup

2 cups sugar 

2 cups water

1/2 cup mint leaves 

Add water and sugar to a saucepan and stir together.  Add mint leaves and. Heat to a low simmer or until sugar is dissolved.  Remove from heat and cool.  Strain out tea leaves and serve syrup wit tea, lemonade, or cocktails.  

Mom Strong

Lately I feel like I'm coming back to life after a long dark journey.  Let me explain.  When we received Lydia's diagnosis during my pregnancy, I didn't fall apart.  Earlier that year, I had lost Eleanor at 20 weeks gestation.  I had lived through the death of a child and made it through (that is a whole different kind of darkness for another post).  I knew if that was Lydia's outcome, I would make it though again.  I didn't fall apart, but I did shut down internally.  On the outside, everyone saw a fairly happy coping person.  I actually got complimented on how well I was handling things.  I inside, I had shut off.  I was able to put on a brave face because I had truly stopped myself from feeling.  I didn't even ask why me.  It didn't matter why.  When Lydia was born and I'm the PICU, I allowed myself to cry, but stayed shut down.  Through the NICU and coming home, I was happy of every achievement she made, but did not feel true joy.  Lately I have felt myself coming back to life.  I've found myself smiling and laughing and really meaning it. I feel joy again.  It's a little frightening to let this guard I have put up come down.  Little by little, I chip away at it.  I will continue to tear down this wall and I will not let it own me.  I am strong enough.  I am a mom.

Five ways to take five

Guys, I am loving being a stay at home mom.  But it is also harder than I ever dreamed.  I'm finding it increasingly important for me to take five minutes for myself everyday.  It's truly keeping me sane.  But...I am not someone who can try to plan out ways to take time for myself because if I try to plan it, it won't happen.  It has to be something that happens organically and I don't have to think about.  That being said, here are five ways I take five minutes for myself every day. 

1. Shave my legs.  Seems silly but to be   honest, most days I'm a Sasquatch because I don't have time shave.  I barely have time to shower (and sometimes don't even have time for that), so when j do shower, getting clean is priority, shaving not so much.  There's just something so satisfying about climbing into bed with shaved legs. It really feels like a luxury.  Because to a mom, it is. 

2. Five quiet minutes.  If I'm really, miraculously lucky, the kids nap together.  It's extremely rare and not often seen in the wild, so when this phenomenon occurs, I take advantage of it.  Usually I nap myself (because dude, I'm tired), but before I do I'll take five quiet minutes to myself.  No tv, no phone, just five minutes sitting and soaking in the quiet.  Ahhhh.

3. Get a Coke.  Sonic has happy hour from 2-4 and Jon gets off work and home shortly after three.  Some days I tell him the kids are all his for a bit and I run get a happy hour 1/2 price coke. It's nice to be able to listen to my own tunes and drive without the kiddos, plus it's a needed caffeine boost.

4.  Indulge in a guilty pleasures. Not the sneak some chocolate in the closet guilty pleasure because let's be real, there's no shame in that.  I'm talking good and juicy no one knows you do it guilty pleasure.  For me it's reality tv.  Keeping Up With the Kardashians, WAGS, or the like.  I feel silly watching it but I just can't stop.  I'll pretend to be trying to find Disney Junior and spend an extra five minutes watching E!. 

5.  Have an alcoholic beverage while cooking dinner.  Sometimes I make a really easy dinner that doesn't require much attention just so I can sit in the kitchen and "cook".  I pour a glass of wine or crack open an alcoholic root beer and kick back while dinner simmers for five minutes.  

See, it doesn't take a ton of planning to take five for yourself.  Just throw something natural to you into an activity you already do for yourself. It will keep you sane. Mostly. 

Mom Tired

Guys, I'm tired.  I'm so tired I've given my tired a new name.  Mom Tired.  It's the kind of tired you only hit when you've been up all night for a week in a row with a baby who won't sleep and then up all day that week with a toddler that won't nap.  Said toddler is also feeling needy and wants you to play with him every second of every day.  In fact the only time this toddler isn't asking you to play is when he is asking you for food (chicken nuggets for the record).  Let's not forget the little sleepless heathon who you are also providing food for, by pumping breastmilk and warming bottles...while the toddler is asking you to play or make the afore mentioned dreaded chicken nuggets.  Did I mention that's all he wants to eat?  Potty training is on the back burner at the moment (queue internal maniacal laughter at the very thought) so I'm also changing diapers for two and also giving a vain attempt at housework and getting dinner made for the entire family at night.  Yesterday I had a bowl of reheated peas for lunch.  Just peas.  And I ate them while I was pumping.  We go to the library once a week to replenish our movie and book supply and the toddler can play and I can feed the heathon uninterrupted (maybe) and get the toddler around another kid to play with.  Throw in the plethora of doctor appointments my little heathon requires (the only reason I ever actually get a shower because I can't go see another adult without making an attempt at basic hygiene) and I have officially reached mom tired status.  No amount of caffeine can save me.  The only cure is dreaming of a time when I will be able to pee alone and maybe even be able to eat a full meal all at once without having to retrieve a toy or paci or bottle or change a poop explosion diaper on the middle of eating my sad little bowl of peas.  I absolutely love being a stay at home mom though it's harder than I ever dreamed it would be.  This past week has been exhausting, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  My little monsters are my joys and every hard moment is accompanied by a sweet one.  I'm just tired so let me complain.  I'm typing this as my little cretins are sleeping at the same time for once and I am inexplicably wide awake.  I hear the heathon stirring and I'm hoping she isn't ripping out her feeding tube.  I'm off in search of caffeine, wish me luck. 

Pork Carnitas

I have a few pork roasts in the freezer and wanted to try a new way to use them.  I settled on pork carnitas because they can be made in the crockpot and most of the recipes are very similar so I figured they couldn't be too hard to make!  This was my first attempt and I kind of winged it with the ingredients based on what I had on hand.  Not bad if I do say so myself. 

5 lb pork roast (I used a shoulder toast)

3 tbsp cumin

1 tbsp oregano

2 tsp salt

2 tsp pepper

2 tbsp garlic powder

1/3 cup tang (just try it)

1 onion, sliced

2 cloves chopped garlic

Mix your dry ingredients and run all over pork.  Place in corckpot and top with onion slices and chopped garlic.  Pour tang over the top and cook on low 7 hours.  Shred pork and cook another hour.

Put pork I'm a frying pan with a drizzle of olive oil and cook until crispy edges form on pork.

I served my pork with lettuce, tomato, onion, cilantro and a dab of sour cream.  

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